As Dirty As Dominic Caserta - A New Game Show! - UPDATED

This is a game show someone emailed to someone else who thought it was funny and emailed it to me. I haven't seen it any where on the Internet so I'm going to just publish it because it's too funny not to be published for all to see.

Think of me as the fly on the wall. That's right. I stealing the idea. I'm willing to admit my lies unlike some politicians who just avoid the facts that they've lied and lied and lied and continue to lie.

In the email, the game show host was named Billy Rubin which was stolen from "Silence of the Lambs" - (From Wikipedia): bilirubin - the chief coloring agent in poo." Billy is dressed in clothing that looks like poo. But I don't like that - it's my game show now and I'll be the host.

Announcer: "Yes and welcome to another exciting episode of 'How Dirty Is It?' - the game show where we talk about all sorts of dirty, filthy things and find out, just how dirty they are. And here's your host, John R. Smith, president of Santa Clarans Against Corruption in Government."

(Audience applauses, as I come on stage wearing in a 2 piece dark tan/light brown suit, white patent leather loafers and a pea soup green tie).

John R. Smith: "Howdy folks. I'm really excited to be here today. So let's get right into the action. First up today is Margo from Santa Clara. Hi Margo, and welcome to 'How Dirty Is It?'"

Margo (a little sheepishly): "Hi. I'm so excited to be here."

John R. Smith: "Well, we're excited to have you here too, but don't let that excitement run away with you. I'd much rather do that myself."

Margo, slightly embarrassed by the comment chuckles lightly.

John R. Smith: "Ok Margo. For your first question, Senate President Pro Tem Don Perata was accused of illegally using state employees and resources in his attempt to recall Sen. Jeff Denham. Do you think he's dirty?"

Margo: "Oh definitely. He's using his power to try recall Sen Denham and all because he didn't side with Perata on the budget. It's cheap theatrics and pandering."

John R. Smith: "Excellent analysis Margo - and it's good to see you keep up to date on the news. Ok... for the first round, How dirty is he? Is he:"

a. Grimy
b. Grungy
c. Greasy
d. As dirty as Dominic Caserta
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

Margo: "Well gee John... there are quite a few choices, but the best one has to be D - As Dirty as Dominic Caserta."

John R. Smith: "Are you sure? Is that your final answer?"

Margo: "Yes it is John. I'm sticking with my decision even though Caserta flip-flopped on his decision on BAREC without telling anyone he was going to do that."

John R. Smith: "Well Margo... that is CORRECT!"

(Audience applauds the correct answer - all except for Ryan Chamberlain - Campaign Manager for the Yes on Measures A & B, Caserta's Campaign Manager for his Assembly Run, and former foot-soldier for Gavin Newson. He glares threateningly at Margo.)

Margo: "YES! I knew I had the right answer!"

(Ding-Ding sound is heard off-stage)

John R. Smith: "Ok Margo... that's the final round sounder. The questions get even tougher, but the prizes get even better. Are you ready?"

Margo: "OH yes." (Looks over at Chamberlain and says): "You bet I am!"

John R. Smith: "Hes a Santa Clara Council Member who sold his soul to buy one election. He's running again for the Assembly and he's already sold his soul by not accepting campign finance limits. He's committed violation after violation (8,000 miles driven in a single year on City Council business, including 8 miles to drive from his house to the Police Station - a distance Google Maps says is less than 1/2 mile), and doesn't answer questions when asked about why he's done what he's done. How dirty is he?"

Margo: "Hmm.. this must be a trick question. This is tough. I'd say D - As Dirty as Dominic Caserta" but this would be a new low even for him. Umm"

John R. Smith: "Times ticking away. We need an answer Margo."

Margo: "OK. I'll go with D - As Dirty as Dominic Caserta"

John R. Smith: "YES! That is correct! That was a trick question - that was none other than Dominic Caserta. "

Other questions can include things like:

"Larry Craig was accused of soliciting sex by tapping his foot in a men's room stall, even though he claims he's 'not gay'. How dirty is he?"

And of course, all the answers would be "d - As dirty as Dominic Caserta".

Because Dominic Caserta is as dirty as they come!


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